Thursday, November 04, 2004

Mandate, Schmandate

in which I blog half-crocked and piss off the entire civilized world as we know it.

In the vocabulary of the blogosphere, the word 'moonbat' has come to mean someone leaning so far to the left that all their brains slid out their left ear onto the floor, where the dog ate it. What's the opposite? What do you call someone who leans so far to the right that they, too, lose their brains? A Sun-emu? Moon:sun, flying mammal:flightless bird. It will have to do.

The sun-emus are crawling out of the woodwork since the re-election of George Bush, some screeching such tripe that they make the paranoia of the moonbats seem reasonable. Listen up, sun-emus: FUCK YOU!

President George Bush does NOT have a mandate to make abortion illegal, nor to drive gays into deep, dark caves, nor to - goodness only knows what else the sun-emus can come up, but that will do for a start.

First off, to listen to some of the talk, one would think that the sun-emus, and only the sun-emus, are responsible for Bush's reelection. ain't so. There are some other groups:

Vietnam veterans, aka Anybody But Kerry
Vietnam immigrants, also aka ABK
Iraqi immigrants
Iranian immigrants
Quite possibly Afghani immigrants
Security moms
Floridians tired of the insults generated by Al Gore's y2k shenanigans
Pro-war libertarians

I don't know what the numbers of most of the above groups are, but the libertarians voting for Harry Browne in 2000 numbered about 1,000,000. Figuring a 50/50 pro/con war split, and assuming some stuck with Badnarik 'anyway,' that's roughly 250,000 voting for Bush, not Badnarik, this year. What's the difference between how many Floridians voted for Bush in 2000 vs 2004? Beats me, I'm too sloshed to remember, but whatever that number is, factor it in. Now go look up all those other groups. Oh yeah - 2.5 million Vietnam vets. Beats me how many Vietnam immigrants, but don't forget to add the kids. Remember the kids? The half-American, half-Viet kids that got automatic citizenship? You don't? Well, bleep you. Anyway, a bunch of them.

That brings the exact number to somewhere between 2,275,000 and a whole lot more. Subtract that from 4,000,000, and you get a max of where's my calculator 1,725,000, or approximately 2.923728813559% sun-emus out of the 59,000,000.000000000000 + that voted for Bush, which is not a fucking mandate, so don't think you own the President or the country all by your little ol' selves because you don't.

Bush has a mandate to prosecute the war on terror. That is his sole mandate. Thank God, I don't think he's a stupid as you sun-emus.

Do ya love this country? Well, do ya, punk? Because if you do, pay some attention to the founding principals and the American Ideals.

"That government is best which governs least."

"Government, like fire, is a dangerous servant and a really nasty master."

Ok, so I screwed up the word in the last quote. You get the concept.

Remember also that power shifts. Any laws enacted now set precedents. If you are successful in creating a law, any law, that dictates who may contract with whom, when, what, where, what they may do in their bedrooms, how they may leave their worldly goods, and so on, you open the door for such laws to be imposed on yourself. Are you effin' daft? Do you want to open that door?

& for pete's squeaks, lay off the hare-brained amendments! (post for another day, but damn!)

Listen up, sun-emus, if ya don't give a hoot about the constitution, and if you're truly so blind that you don't think oppressive laws will never come back to bite you, maybe you care about God.

Have ya read Genesis? Do you know what God's first gift to mankind was?

Free will

Use extreme caution is trying to steal God's first and greatest gift away from his children. If you believe in God, you know what I'm saying. If you don't, why should you care about gays and abortion and whatnot anyway?

& why did God give man free will? because "He was lonely." That bit of the Bible twists my heart, but it's there. God was lonely. So he gave us free will, so we could choose to come to him all by our lonesome. God wants each one of us to choose, in our hearts and of ourselves, to come to Him. God Himself apparently doesn't want us dragged there, kicking and screaming. So have a care, sun-emus. Don't make our gifts to God more feeble than our natural human weakness dictates. Leave us free to give freely and cheerfully what we have to give.


I have a whole lot of extremely nasty things to say to GLAAD, too, but I'm sloshed and hungry. Some other time perhaps . .

naw, hell, better say it right now.

Yo! GLAAD! Yer farkin' NUTS! Not only are you nuts, but you're lazy and whiney. You don't even know what you want!! FAUGH!! You make me sick.

You say you want gay marriage made legal, and you don't even know what gay marriage is. You won't sit down and figure it out, you just whine and look for judges willing to piss on the constitution and the concept of balance of power. Are you really so stupid that you don't see the potential consequences? Because if you are truly that DUMB STUPID BLIND, you deserve to be locked in a room with sun-emus forever and ever and ever, with nothing to eat but 3-day old fish and nothing to drink but Coors light. It would serve you right.

Quit fucking up the English language. Marriage means the union of a man and a woman, always has, always will. Deal with it.

If you want marriage, grab yourself someone of the opposite sex and go to it.

If you want something other - work towards it in a logical manner, within the framework of the laws in place. What you actually want, although you are apparently too daft or too whiney to realize it, is a shortcut way to contract for a union between two members of the same sex. You've no business calling this contract 'marriage.' Have a contest, come up with a different name. I like 'homonogomy' myself - to me, it has a cozy, homey sound, as opposed to civil union (too cold) or carnal union (too decadent). But it's your union, up to you. Have a contest, take a poll. Whatever. But don't steal a word that doesn't belong to you.

And decide, among yourselves, exactly what you want that word to mean. Does a homonogomous union mean that each partner is the other's next of kin? Fine. Automatic step-parent in the case of kids? Fine. Domestic partner, for those companies that provide for such things? Fine. Whatever. But dammit, decide. Come to consensus amongst yourselves, work out the legal paperwork, then present a bill to your state legislature. Ask for homonogamy to be considered a contract, similar to but not the same as, marriage or whatever. Don't forget to deal with divorce while you're at it, suckers.

BTW, the vodka is Krolewska. It comes in the loveliest bottle, looks like a stained glass window. I'm mixing it with Shasta kiwi-strawberry soda. Since it's Polish vodka, and Poland has been sooooo cool and tough (GO GROM!), I figure drinking it is my patriotic duty.

Anything else? No, that's enough for now.

Please, everybody, try not to go off your rocker.

Local band plug: Runa Pacha, Andean-Peruvian. Soothes the soul.

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