Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Achtung, Artists!
You modern artist people irritate me, ya know that? Ya know why? 'Cuz you suck, that's why. I shall delineate below the specifics aspects of your suckiness, which include but may not be limited to:

(a) Your artistic vision is invariably ugly. In your depictions of ugliness, you preen yourselves on your brave portrayal of the 'real' human experience. News Flash: Goodness and beauty are also part of the human experience. Hope is part of the human experience. Striving to better oneself is a daily portion of all decent people's daily experience. Take off your blinders!!
(b) Ugly is easy. Ugly is cheap. Ugly is quick. Ugly requires no work and little creativity. Anybody can make ugly. Ugly art is the product of lazy people with blinders on.
(c) You're hypocrites and thieves. First, you use the Government Gun to take money from taxpayers (like me!) to fund your ugly art. You must do this because no one in their right mind will actually pay their own money for the crap you produce - thus theft. THEN, when a taxpayer like me protests the crap produced with MY money, you holler censorship and violation of the 1st amendment. Ponder this, my hypocritical little thieves: when money is taken from my pocket to make a statement I disagree with, whose rights of expression are being violated? When money is taken from my pocket to blaspheme the G-d I believe in, whose religion is being oppressed? Differentiate, my dears, between free speech and paid speech. I take back my 1st sentence - you are not hypocrites and thieves; you are mean and stupid hypocrites and thieves.
(d) You're a narcissistic little group, producing for yourselves and your contacts. Like some festering mass of corn smut, you cluster together to see who can out-ugly, out-trash, out-degrade the other. If your art speaks to the soul at all, it speaks to a nasty, shrivelled, tiny, soul cowering in some dark, dank corner full of mice and spiders.

Take off your blinders and step out into the sunshine. Art can be helpful. It can aspire people to reach for the stars - to dream - to dare; yes, all those cliches you and your sad buddies sneer at from your (cough, cough) 'enlightened' lofty self-proclaimed pedestal. Stop sneering. Step out of your dank, musty corner. Open your eyes. Live.

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