. . . You just might be a Floridian

If you feel sorry for Jeb Bush and wouldn't wish his job on your worst enemy . . .

If you store your lawn furniture in your pool . .

If you bring your solar yard lights inside at night, and set them outside again in the morning to recharge . . .

If you keep your lawn ornaments in your living room . . .

If your art discussions compare the impressionism of one neighbor's plywood paintings versus the cubism of another's . .

If you know the ratio of 6 drops of chlorine to 1 gallon of water . . .

If you make coffee and omelettes over a sterno as a matter of course . . .

If utility repairmen fill you with lust and desire, regardless of age, sex or buttcrack, . . .

If you've ever prayed for a westerly shear . . .

If you have FEMA on speed-dial . . .

you just might be a Floridian!